Not hiding

He told me I have a great body. 

I whispered, “No, I don’t have a great body. Just So many flaws.” He didn’t hear me. I didn’t repeat myself. 
I held my breathe and thought to my self, “fuck Natasha, you’re still not over this.”
Other than the fact that it’s hard for me to take compliments, taking compliments from someone who may possibly see you naked is even harder. 
Running away is easier. 
Honestly, most times when I look at the back of my thighs I catch myself looking at my body and finding it “disgusting” and expect baby smooth skin. And then I yell at myself for hating myself. I know, I’m Double standards at its best. 
So if I find my body not appealing then how can someone else find it desirable? And yeah I know, we are bigger than our physical appearance and when you meet anyone we all should connect emotionally and spiritually and ahh the good stuff. But the physical does play a role in it. One cannot simply be oblivious to it. If someone is, well, that’s a good thing I personally haven’t reached that far up in the enlightenment front. So I’m still very much human. 
Fighting wars with my insecurities and facing my fears. But hiding is so much easier. Covering up is so much easier. It always is. But then aren’t you not being true to yourself? 
They say everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear. Flaws and all you are still a masterpiece, my warrior! ❤️

Practise daily. Stay safe. Stay humble.🙏❤ Much love😊🙏 

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