Insomnia

“I haven’t​ slept normally for two weeks now. 

Infact I haven’t slept at all. 

I think I’m afraid to fall asleep. 

Because when you sleep, you dream. 

But the thing is, I don’t have dreams that are hopeful anymore. 

I dreamt once of happiness and love and now nightmares of death and decay takeover.
 I guess the night is comforting,

Because the darkness within gets camouflaged. 

Because everyone else is asleep and the monsters within me begin to dance.

Monsters of hopelessness.

Monsters of insecurities. 

Monsters of  turmoil. 

Monsters of emptiness. 
Picking my skin away with my nails untill I bleed. 

Blood gives me a sense that there might be life within me. 

Where most times, I don’t even feel human anymore. 
Shallow breathing,

I feel like the walking dead. 

Popping sleeping pills like sweets. 

But my eyes refuse to shut. 
I reached a point where I don’t know day from night. 

Time is moving forward but I’m stuck. 

Stuck in a void of doom. 

Stuck not knowing how to move. 

Stuck,

 like a fly in a cobweb. 

Struggling to get out. 

Struggling to be free again.

Where I am the spider,

The perpetrator waiting to prey on myself. 
I’m just tired, I guess. 

Tired that everyone is breathing and I don’t know how to

 because I’m drowning”- Natasha noel
New poem in blog it’s called ‘Insomnia’. 
Practise daily. Stay safe. Stay humble.🙏❤ Much love😊🙏
 

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