Don’t listen to the voices

​Do you know what it feels like when you believe the voices in your head?

When you wake up every day longing for death?

When you have nothing. 

When you feel worthless.

When depression rips your life up,

And anxiety is all you are left with. 

Where you are comfortable in your tatered being. 

Haunted memories of the past 

Creeping in,

Eating away your sleep.

Your filth festering. 

Silence engulfing you.

Silence got your tongue. 

Like a rag doll,

Your lips have been stitched in

But the voices get louder;
“This won’t work.
I can’t do this.

 I’m useless

I’m just not ready yet.

I am not worthy.

I just can’t.

I’m a curse.

I’m destruction.

I deserve to suffer.”
Looking disconsolate,

Sweating venom,

Grime oozing out of me,

I am a disease.
Vacant spaces filling this body.

There is no way out. 
“You’re paranoid.”

“You’re unlovable.”

The voices won’t stop. 

Your own breath is choking you. 

It’s like quick sand to my self esteem

The more I try to convince myself self of self love, the faster my lungs dry to, “I’m Not good enough.”

The never ending contradiction. 

I’m perpetually living in denial.

Getting out of my bed like 

Vermin.

Disgusted in my being. 

Grotesque.

Swallowing death so easily that it will never be near me but in me. 

Unable to breathe.

Gasping for life.

Wheezing to live.
When you try with every fiber in your body not to kill yourself.

But you feel suicide is your only hope. 

Hope for salvation.

Hope from yourself.

Hope to be free.
Hope for… the pain to stop. 

Maybe being numb is better. 

Emotionless. 
But you cannot kill something that is already dead.
Eternally self-sabotaging,

This body doesnt know how to be held without shrinking away.
Don’t listen to the voices. 

Don’t listen to the voices.

Don’t listen to the voices!

-Natasha Noel

Practise daily. Stay safe. Stay humble.🙏❤ Much love😊🙏

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One thought on “Don’t listen to the voices

  1. Depression has become a universal battle, and the one were fighting against with is ourselves; each of us is our own silent opponent, stealing our own identity, ruining established relationships, putting away our own opportunities.
    Add to that, lemme tell you, this is perhaps one of the best poems I have read in a while. It just makes me numb and force me to think. Kudos to you 🙂

    Like

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