“There is nothing in the world that can trouble you as much as your own thoughts.”
For two days now I’ve been sick and I’m not getting any better. Sick physically and mentally. I put my mind on overdrive and threw my energy everywhere except in myself. Even when I’m meditating usually 20 percent of the time I don’t have thoughts now it’s like a war, bombs going off occasionally in my mind. Where I feel my own veins choking me and I’m fighting for my last breathe.
It’s so easy for me to think, “I’m horrible, I’m not good enough. I’m just wasting my time. I can’t see any progress in my body. Let’s just give up. I’ll just eat all the chocolate in the world, fuck it.” (This is the aspect of work or doing anything in my daily life)
Then when it comes to someone I’m interested in and vice versa, “He deserves someone better. I’m so messed up how anyone could be able to love me, I cannot comprehend. He’s obviously done this before. All he wants to do is conquer another body. I don’t mean anything. He just says I’m different and THIS is different so that he can take what he wants and move on to the next body. He’ll find someone else. He just thinks he’s attracted to me because of what I can do. He’ll be happier with someone else. He’ll cheat, they all cheat. My body is not good enough for him to see naked”- My mind.
I can go on with the list. If you’re not careful your mind can kill you. One has to reprogram the mind, reprogram it to the positive because it is used and finds comfort in the pain of life.
It can start slow; I read this and absolutely agree “Instead of saying I’m damaged. I’m broken I have trust issues” say I’m healing. I’m rediscovering myself. I’m starting over.’ Positive self talk.” It blew my mind.
Re-constructing your thoughts is what will help you feel better. It won’t happen in one day or overnight. Take baby steps. Slowly but surely you’ll see changes and you’ll be able to let go of the pain and help rediscovering yourself.
1. What you think you will attract.
2. Stop comparing yourself to anyone.
3. Stop comparing your present relationships to your past. Just because it didn’t work out with one person doesn’t mean it won’t with the next. But you have to try right? If you’re already think it won’t work out chances are it won’t.
4. Love your goddamn self. Love your flaws that are what makes you unique.
5. Every day is a new day. Take it like that if you want to feel like a sloth, go ahead. If you want to feel like a glutton go ahead. Just know it will take longer to reach your goal.
5. You don’t always have to be strong. Let go of your ideas that make you, you.
6. Its okay to let your guard down and be taken care of. (At least, once in a while)
7. However hard you are, I beg you, believe in love. That’s what will heal all the brokenness.
8. Your body is your own. It’s only a vessel. If you don’t love and accept it no matter what people do or say will make you love it unless you do. Take care of your vessel. Your body is your home doesn’t destroy it. Don’t destroy your home.
9. Meditate. Just be with yourself and witness your thoughts.
10. Do some physical exercise.
11. POSITIVE REAFFIRMATION of the SELF. Keep talking to yourself. Day in and day out. People will think you’re crazy, it doesn’t matter. Healing should be your priority. So what if you’ve fallen, you learn to pick yourself up and keep walking. Keep moving. Keep moving forward. Constantly saying, “I AM STRONG”, ” I AM POWERFUL”, “I AM CAPABLE”, “I AM ENOUGH”,”I AM LOVE”
11. Be tender, be love, be kind but don’t allow people to walk over you.
12. You’ve picked yourself up where people have torn you down, cheated on, beaten you, spat on you and even ridiculed you. You bloody survived. Because you won’t let anything beat you down. You are strong. You are a strong mother-effing beast and don’t let anyone say otherwise, not even yourself. So go and make yourself proud.
Practise daily. Stay safe. Stay humble.
Photography Credits: Meghna Bhalla Photography